Ep 10: Who Was Michal? | Clumsy, Crunchy & Connective

Welcome to the Run to the Hard podcast, where we're here to remind you that God doesn't promise us a life free from suffering, but he always brings healing and restoration on the other end. Our goal is to inspire you to face life's trials with courage and trust in God's plan. And oh yeah, run to the heart that God allows. No, no, no, no. You don't get to look at notes this episode because you just literally told me, we're going to sit and podcast. We are. And we're going to do something light. And I was like, what are we going to do? I haven't even planned this. And so you're taking my brain who likes to plan things and now you're trying to sit here. No, you ain't doing notes. No, sir. Put them away. People are invested in this story, right? And we're talking about all this stuff, and I'm the guy that's got to sit across from the table from you and like feel the weight of this. I'm just like, my goodness, that is so heavy. Can we talk about something light and fluffy and airy for a change? Sure. So let's do it, man. I mean you always talk about all the really awesome characteristics and attributes about her. So, I mean, tell me who this woman was, tell me the course, just lay it on me, man. Oh man, so many ways I can tell you about Michael, but she was brutally honest. And you know how some people in life can get away with it, and then there's some that can't. It's all about tonality. It is, like I have a friend. Because you can say the same thing, you can honestly say the same thing with a different tone and it means something entirely. Oh absolutely, yeah it is. I have a friend and he is he's the same way, brutally honest, but he's a jerk. Like the way he comes off, he walked away just mad every single time. Right. Just brutally honest, but she you know she was so cute, she had a great personality, you know her facial expressions, like you you would take it and ponder it because it was her telling you or asking you, but yeah, brutally honest. Even on our first coffee date, I mean, this was the girl who, after we had all the niceties and stuff like that, she just looks over at me and says, so, what do you want? I'm like, what do you mean? She says, do you want to date me? Do you want to marry me? Do you want to be my friend like what do you want I would just shock like first of all I don't know this person and this is what she's asking me on her first coffee date so when I say brutally honest she just whoo yeah she would no filter none yeah she would turn my face red and then be like well what's wrong with you like can I say that like no do you think she was relying on on her looks the filter was relying on her looks and like you know I can maybe get away with that I don't think so no it was just it was just who she was I don't know I don't know she grew up with six brothers I mean that has something to do with it's got to six brothers how many sisters through it so there's four sisters and six brothers ten kids all together you people make fun of my family oh yes I would look at a family that big cross-eyed and I have a big family. That's a man. It's a lot. That's intense. So, can I be like brutally honest here? In the spirit of being brutally honest. So, Michael sold for an MLM, right? Yeah. You got to be like a special type of salesman, a special type of crazy to be able to do MLM. Don't you think? Like these people have to be able to say what they want with no filter and just reach out to you and all the folks, you know? Oh, oh for sure. Yeah, that was her whole marketing piece. But she, and I think she learned it, you know. She would tell me when she first got started doing online sales that she would, you know, literally want to vomit when she would post a video of herself, she just hated it. And then it was the response, once she realized that people liked her and that people responded to her, then I think it became a little bit easier. But even when we started a business together, we started a wedding venue and I would tell her, I'm like, babe, you gotta post, you gotta post. She's like, oh, I hate posting. And I'd be like, but every time you post, the phone rings literally when you make a video or when you post, people just loved her. She just, oh man, she had quite a personality. That's actually super good though because I think people would look at her stuff, look at her engagement level on social media and be like, oh man, this woman just has that naturally. But me and you, I've even talked before about how, one, she internalized a lot of that before she did it, and she had to get good at it. It wasn't something that just comes naturally to everybody. I've looked at some of her earlier videos and they weren't that good. She's so cute, but yeah, I was like, uh, yeah. But no, she was really good at it. Well, moral of the story is with something like that, I think people are just like, oh, I'm not good at live. I'm not good at video. I'm not good at this. I'm not good at that. But the fact of the matter is what have you ever done in your life that the first time you did it, you were just like in all stuff? We all suck, don't we? Pretty much. We're all horrible at the things we try so you know I'm sure someone listening is like oh wow She got nervous about oh Yeah, all the time surprising to see hated it. Yeah, yeah I would tell her I say go go find a quiet spot and make a new video or do this and she's like okay You know like dredge think to it, but then she'd do it and be amazing and then you know again the phone ring I told her I said if you dream up business, I'll do it with you because this girl could sell anything Yeah, she was really good. It just just a different different personality But even though people saw that side of her, you know, they they saw her as this kind of Sophisticated and and outgoing and great personality. She was a total dork Yeah Like when we were you know chatting during that few weeks, you know, she said she said, you know I'm just a dorky homeschool mom. I'm like, what does that mean? She's like, I don't know. She said I just I Just do things different. I said well difference. Okay. She said you don't understand Till I started dating her. I was like, oh man, this girl's yeah, she's a dork. I don't know. What do you mean about home school? One time she was like, yeah, we do these we do these dance offs in the kitchen with the kids. And I was like, well, that sounds fun. Until I saw one. And I was like, babe, you can never dance like that again. What was it like? Kind of like dancing around an Indian fire. Oh, no, it was more like homeschool stripper. Homeschool stripper. Mom's like, babe, you can't do that in public she was like why true story that's a true story yeah we were we were on our first church date and she would tell me that she'd have these you know wipeouts and things on a regular base and I was like well most people have that she's like no mine are usually a lot more dramatic. Oh, you mean like falling on the ground? Like just randomly tripping over your own, like a ghost hole? Yes. Okay. So we, I mean this is way early in, and so we went incognito to a church because we didn't want anybody to know we were dating yet. We weren't calling it dating yet. We were just friends. And so we go to this local church in Xenia, not hers, somebody else's, and we walk in, we shake the greeter's hand and I turn around and she's gone. I don't see her. I look down on the ground and she's got her skirt and everything all up over her head and she wiped out in the clearing of the church. Like just do her, you can't make this stuff up. And I'm like, are you okay, are you okay? And the usher's like trying to help her up and she's hurting and laughing all at the same time. And then she goes, I told you, I tried to tell you that this is normal. Funny. Oh, my God. Oh, the funniest story she ever told me. This is right before we're dating. She's in Columbus. She's got to go to a big meeting in Columbus. She's all dressed up. And when she would go do something like that, she was always dressed up she loved to dress up and um she she messaged me and she's like you're not gonna believe what I did today and I was like okay what's that she it's this big fancy building lots of people she's getting ready to go in see she walks into the bathroom comes back out and walks down the hallway and this woman comes up says ma'am ma'am your you. She tucked her skirt into her tights and was walking them all the way. Oh my god, that's hilarious. I'm like, are you serious? She's like, yeah, if that woman wouldn't have stopped me, I don't know how many people I would have walked by with my skirt tucked into my tights. Oh my, dude, what the hell. So when I say like a dork, like she just, oh, she would, yeah, she was always doing something like that. That is funny. Yeah, she was, she was a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah, so she was brutally honest. She was, she was really dorky. And I would never let her dance in public because, yeah, it wasn't good. It wasn't meant for them. Did she think she was a good dancer? No, no, she knew. So she was self-aware. Yeah. OK. But she didn't realize that her moves and stuff weren't appropriate. Weren't appropriate for the three CUs. Or any church. Got it. Oh, it's true story. Oh, man. So tell me about her. This I'll selfishly ask this because we homeschool. So what type of a homeschool mom was she oh man you'd have to ask her kids because hmm I Mean they got this stuff done, but I don't think they enjoyed it. They enjoyed okay So she did was she strict or oh yes? I'm really Rick like we're gonna do like you know four lessons of math today. Not one, okay? You know we're gonna read this many books. The kids are like, really? Nobody else has to do this. So school easier for them now? Oh, they are. They just fly through it. Yeah. School is way easy for them. That's awesome. But like so she wouldn't be like, oh, it's a vacation day. Like she would, you know, just to the letter. Well, yeah. Worked really, really hard. But then when it was a day off, yeah, they had a lot of fun. They go do lots of stuff. She was a lot of fun. But when it comes to the actual school work, yeah, she was a drill sergeant. The kids, oh yeah, they make fun of her, even to this day. They'll be like, you remember when mom spanked us for doing this? Oh yeah, they go on and on and on. It's hilarious. And then they're like, the little kids, they don't get in trouble for nothing. They have no idea what it was like for us. See, that is amazing. Yeah. You always have that in big families. You've got the older Yeah You always have that in big families. You've got the older kids and the younger kids and it's never the same It's never the same. Yeah, they're not no, they are vastly different. They come from the same household. How did this happen? like I thought I'm totally with you on that. She was gorgeous, but yet she had a level of self-consciousness about her that honestly shocked me at first. That was something I had to, well, because she was brutally honest, you know, she would say like, this really bothers me, or I don't like this, or I don't, you know, I don't like how this looks on me, or whatever. I'm like, well, that's ridiculous. And she's like, wait a minute, it's my thought you can't tell me that right I thought it's ridiculous that makes them bright she and she's how I feel so yeah that was that was always a topic to what I say you can't you can't you can't you can't are you with how I felt about that yeah that's awesome so go ahead well so what I'm gonna say she did she ever build like brick walls? Basically she asked you a question where she built a wall and she's expecting you to crash into it. Like asked you kind of one of those like I'm going to lose if I say yes and I'm going to lose if I say no. You know what I mean? I think they all do that. Yeah. No, one of the things that we worked on early on dating was taking walls down. We use the analogy a lot. And she would even tell me, if we were starting to maybe struggle in an area or not get along in an area, she would say, I feel a wall going up. And I'd be like, oh, okay, tell me about it. And she's like, I don't want to have walls with you. I want to always have the walls down. I want us to be able to communicate freely. But I mean, we're men and women and we don't think the same and so when you know, you're always gonna run into some wall, but but she She was really good about Not wanting let's see. I don't wanna phrase that If either one of us ran into a wall whether intentionally or unintentionally She was really good about coming back around say, okay, let's talk about this. Let's let's make sure that we're listening to each other or we're saying what we're supposed to be saying because I Never said anything right the first time I would say something and she'd get mad and I'm like, what'd I say? She's like you said that and I was like, oh you took it the wrong way, right? I was like, I didn't mean that she's like what sure sounded like you meant that and so yeah We were we were always again early marriage like we're not been married that long and so he were always trying to figure each other. Yeah, we're trying to figure stuff out We're bumping into walls. We're trying to we're trying to tear walls down that we might have had, you know earlier in our life And anyways, oh, yeah, there was always a wall to tear down You might appreciate this because I know that you and your wife work Hard in these areas Michael was crunchy and I didn't even know what that meant. I like how how crunchy because sometimes there's like a ringleader crunch. Oh, yeah. And then there's just somebody who's a part of the face. She was ringleader crunchy. And my my daughter in law is the one that had to tell me what crunchy even met. Like I didn't know. Yeah. And so I think Michael tried to hide it from me for a while. Like when we were dating and stuff, I knew there were some weird things like what's this? What's this stuff on your car? She's like, well, that's my homemade deodorant I'm like homemade you I'm like, oh, okay like impress like whatever or Or there'd be a little dish of some kind of a cream on the counter like what that she's like That's my homemade hand cream. I'm like Okay, so so early on I would See little things. Yeah, but I had no idea to what extreme this went. I mean, seriously, I didn't know. And I was trying to explain her to my daughter-in-law before they met and became friends and stuff. And she's like, well, haven't you paid attention to her Facebook? Don't you understand what a crunchy mom is? And I was like, apparently not. What does that even mean? And so she would educate me as the kind of woman that I was taking. Oh man. So what was the extreme that you felt was like, whoa, I can't even believe you believe this. No, no microwaves. We didn't use a microwave. No microwaves. No way. She would heat up food on the stove and home cooked meals. And so you don't take home cooked meal. I'm on my five, not using a microwave. I mean, I'm impressed. I know, but a home cooked meal. And applause. She would, you know, warm it up in the oven or warm it up on the stove. She wouldn't use the microwave. And she was horrified when I would grab something from the fridge and throw it in there and warm it up. Like, literally, I would get the snake eye. I mean, like, she was horrified. Wait, she was horrified when you'd grab something from the refrigerator and put it in the microwave? How did I say you didn't have a microwave? No, she didn't use it. We have a microwave hanging on the wall. It's built in. Yeah. And you guys just never use it. She didn't. What? So no microwave, no chemicals, no cleaning supplies. Like we were married a short time and she walked in one day and she said, is this my house? I was like, yeah, baby, it's your home. She said, are you sure? Because we need to do some housecleaning. I was like, yeah, it's your house, whatever. She's like, okay. She went and got the trash bag, put gloves on, she put gloves on her hands, and she went through the whole house and threw every cleaning supply away. Oh, dang. True story. So to start cleaning, you have to throw all the cleaning supplies away. Yeah, I mean, that makes perfect sense, right? And I'm like, what do you clean with? And she's like, well, we use a lot of vinegar. I was like, vinegar? We do that, yeah. So yeah, cleaning the showers, cleaning, I mean, yeah, everything was different everything was different so What about food like did she cook super healthy meals cuz oh man? We had to have a milk source so she so we you know we got fresh milk fresh eggs. It had to be farm fresh Yep With you on that yeah, grass-fed. You know hamburger she would ever fast food. Oh, I mean, if we were on the road traveling to a trip or something and we're like, I'm starving. Yeah, we would stop and get and then she'd be like, this is terrible. And yeah, you want to talk about still go out to eat and whatnot. Oh, yeah. OK, but if you didn't cook every meal three times a day, seven days a week, she cooked a lot for the most part. Yeah. And she always made big batches so you could have it for breakfast or you know, if she made a big breakfast casserole, it would last a few days, you know, with five kids it didn't last that long. But anyways, yeah. Homemade yogurt. Oh, man. All the crunchy stuff. All the crunchy stuff. Her own toothpaste. So deodorant, toothpaste, lotion. All of it. Yeah. Just like a baking soda toothpaste? Yeah, with charcoal. Yeah, she'd walk in, her teeth would be all black. All black and I'm like, hey baby. Oh yeah. Oh man. That's amazing. Oh, we just moved into this house. So we'd been married a year, we moved into this house and I mean, I'm a big yard guy, always have been. Love my yard to look good. I've always done outside work and, and, it's so good. Oh, I know exactly where you're going with this. Some guy comes to the door and he's like, he's like, well, let me back up. The first house we were at, I was getting ready to call the lawn company to come and spray the yard. And I said, Hey, I got to make this phone call. And she's like, what are you doing? I'm like, well, I'm going to get the heart spread. And she's like, no, you're not. She's like, my babies walk that yard in there in their feet, bare feet. Like you're not going to, I'm like, babe, I always do. Like I want my yard to look nice. She's like, what's wrong with dandelions? God made them. What's wrong? I mean, dude, I hate, I got, but I got the whole, I mean, I got the whole whip down. So we move into this new house, nice neighborhood, big yard, a couple acres to mow. And, and this guy comes up on the front porch and says, hey, we're in the neighborhood and we're selling these, these, um, treating plans. Are you interested? And I said, you know what? You better ask my wife about that one she'll be back in a little bit and you can come back. I totally set this guy up it was so funny he comes back and Michael answers the door and I'm like oh this is gonna be good. Did you get it on the ring doorbell? I wish I had. Oh that would have been awesome. He says oh man we're gonna be such friends and she said why she said because And she goes, okay, well, give me a pamphlet. Tell me what's in these chemicals and stuff. I want to see it. He's like, well, no, all your neighbors are using it. You know, it's, what did he say? It's family friendly or family healthy. I mean, he used some crunchy word, which she knew was bogus. And she's like, no, no, no. Kind of like natural over organic. Yeah, like, no, no, no, where's your pamphlet? I want to see the chemicals and stuff. And before long he turns to her and says, apparently we're not going to be friends, are we? She's like, well you won't give me the information you're trying to sell me. Like my kids walk on this yard, like what are you going to put on it? And he's like, what do you want me to do, ma'am, just water your yard for you? Right. I'm dying. Well, look, I have to know. I'm a yard guy too. So I mean was there a compromise or did you have dandelions? Oh, I mean, no way. Oh, yeah, we do. We've got you broke on that. OK. I mean, now the kids are like, are we going to keep all mom's rules in place? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. So that's so so there's no like organic treatment or anything she would go with. No, really? No. And so the funny thing, it's not funny. I shouldn't use that word. That's the wrong word when mom's in the hospital with you know bone marrow cancer Edwards like you know the oldest son. He's like see I told you we should have been eating anything We wanted all the time because it didn't matter. Oh my gosh. That is kids will say that darn it that it's Yeah, that's brutal. Yeah of all people of all people to die of cancer. Yeah, the crunchiest mom I've ever known. Crazy. Sure, I mean, obviously, as people are listening to how crunchy she is, that's in the back of people's minds. Oh yeah. That's so interesting. That really is. I would get messages and phone calls, hey, was she near this or that? I mean, you have lots of crazy questions. Yeah. Oh wow, so people were trying to kind of figure out how it all took place. Yeah, but she was by far the most interesting person I'd ever known. Lots of characteristics. Yeah, I love that man. Music, big deal. That was one of the fun things when we were dating. We were always sending each other the latest song that we'd found. Whether it was a love song or a worship song or whatever, but music was such a big deal. She started every morning with her Bible app. She'd lay it on her. She was not a morning person So just picture this woman is not a morning person and she's a homeschool mom like The kids would tell you how our stories But anyways was it like don't talk to me unless I have coffee oh pretty much yeah I'm much she you know But she'd start with her Bible app on the on the pillow to wake her up and then she'd Move from the Bible app to worship music. This is just to try to get her in a good mood. She's literally trying to get herself into a good mood and then she'd get to the shower and she'd have her worship music playing in the shower. It was quite a thing to watch. When she would wake up and when you spend that much time in the Word and then with music, there are lots of times I'd walk into the bathroom and find her weeping in front of The mirror, you know, she's just yeah, she was Everything she did was just kind of all in and she just she wanted to feel everything and she could you know Weeping was super easy for her. She could put herself there in a hurry Yeah, we um It was fun though to have somebody who well we both were coming alive at the same time both been through a whole bunch of crap. And music was one of those things that helped both of us come alive. And then to be able to share that with each other, that was a lot of fun. I remember when the new Need to Breathe album dropped, and I was like, babe, this is amazing. My son was a huge Need to Breathe fan, so he'd always tell me when new songs were coming out and whatnot. And I'll never forget, we laid in bed one night, just put earbuds in each other's ears, you know, laying beside each other, and every song would come out. We'd be like, that was awesome and that was awesome. And it was, it was good. Yeah. It was something we shared together, but something she just, yeah, she loved and she could just feel it and be, you know, totally engulfed in it. Um, yeah, it was good. Yeah. Yeah. So you've mentioned a time or two about the vetting process and the Enneagram. Oh, right. Yeah. So why was she so obsessed with the Enneagram? That's hilarious. So, you know, we really we haven't really talked much about that that first date, but it was good, super engaging, you know, catching up with life and the hardness and all the things we'd been through and then to the questions of, you know, what do you want? You know, do you want to marry me? Do you want to date me? And honestly, I just want to get to know her. I didn't I didn't know this woman and she was so intriguing. And so we end the first coffee date with kind of like, yeah, it was really nice to finally, you know, get to know you or get to meet you and have coffee with you. But it was this weird, like, I don't know where this is going to go, like what comes next. And so I jumped in my truck and I was actually heading up to the cabin that night. I was actually going to drive to the cabin and I get this text and it says, hey, take this test. I'm like, why? She said, if I'm going to be your friend, like, I got to know what kind of a dude you are. I was like, what is it? She's like, it's called an Enneagram test. It tells you your characteristics and stuff. And I was like, oh, okay. So I'm sorry. I was driving, taking an Enneagram test. And it's a bunch of questions. Halfway through, I was like, this is tough stuff. These are a lot of personal questions. And she was like, well, yeah. How else am I going to figure out who you are? And so I finish it, and she's like, what are you? And I'm like, I'm a three. And she's like, I knew it. I knew it. She's like, I knew it. She says, you're one of those guys. I was like, what does that even mean? Type A, driven, goal-oriented, that kind of stuff. And I'm like, well, what are you? And she's a two. And, you know, the feeler, the connector, the, you know, that kind of person. And anyways, yeah. So out of the blue, it's, it's one of her requirements of me is to take this goofy test. Never even heard of it before. What do you know about them? Oh, any, well, I don't even know what number I am, to be honest with you. Um, and there's, there's conflicting opinions on it. It sounds like obviously her intentions for using them were pure. Yeah. I think some people listening might be like, wait, Enneagram, I thought they were like some weird witch roots to it and stuff like that. Which, you know, there's some there are some things you can look into. If you're being honest. Well, that's... But obviously that's not what she was. She wasn't trying to put spells on you. No. Yeah. And it's not a crunchy thing or anything like that. Her and her daughter had had somebody had introduced them to it and they were taking them. And honestly, you know, they're pretty accurate when they're when it's all said and done, which is hilarious. But she was so naive. She wouldn't have even known if it was connected to something like that, because that was the other beauty of her was that she was she was pretty naive. Like she'd say things and you'd be like, babe, you can't say that. She's like, why? I'm like, it's kind of not appropriate. She's like, why is that word not appropriate? Like there were just things that she didn't know. Like it was so funny. Yeah. Yeah. That is funny. Man. She was different. Well, that's cool, man. I'm glad we can cover some lighter topics, you know, as we're going through so many of these some of these heavy things as we as we kind of conclude this episode what What would you say is? The thing that Michael would have wanted people to know about her most. Oh man a couple things She was so Connective she It wasn't fake. There was nothing fake about it. She wanted to know people deeply. There was no such thing as a casual relationship. If you were a friend with Michael, number one, it was an amazing journey. It was this blessing. If you got to call Michael your friend, this woman knew you. She'd asked you hard questions, deep questions. She wanted to know everything about you. It was such a big deal. And so I think for her, she didn't understand why everybody wasn't like that. Why isn't everybody so connective? Why doesn't everybody want to know you deeply? Why wouldn't you want to know people that well or that deeply and be able to live this journey with them? It was a blast to watch, but also was hard to watch because you and I both know that That's not natural. It's not nor most of us are not like that. We we go about life. We do our thing You know, we have acquaintances. We have a couple good friends in our life But what how well do we really know the people that we rub shoulders with and I think you know Most people live on the surface. Because I mean at the end of the day, scriptures say that we aren't going to live a life free of suffering. Right. You know what I mean? And so everybody has a story, everybody has pain in their life, and it sounds like through our conversations like she was just great at getting to the deepest part of people. Yep. Intentionally. Like she just, if you were gonna be a part of her life, in her mind was like, why wouldn't I want to know you that well? And again, it's not normal. Most of us are not built like that. Do you think that was like a protective measure for her to be like, I need to know who you are or the person's benefit? To like pull things out of them, you know, that like no one's ever done before. I mean, I've heard stories from her pastors when she was a kid that she's been like this since she was a teenager, like so connective, just not afraid of people, just know right up to you. And remember, this was the girl that would go knock door to door at 10 years old and start a mowing business. You know, like she's just fearless about people. Why wouldn't she would say things like, why wouldn't they like me? That's awesome. OK, like that's a lot of self-confidence. But yeah, she's just super interesting, just willing to put herself out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Courageous, like again. Yeah. Hmm. She loved being a mom. I think that'd be the other thing she would say. You know, she wanted to love people deeply, know people deeply, but she fiercely loved being a mom. She never gave up an opportunity to teach the kids, right to her death. I mean, in the hospital bed, teaching all the way, teaching me, teaching her family, teaching her kids, you know, live well, die well, you know, have a testimony to the end God is faithful And she was yeah every opportunity It wouldn't matter if we were on a bike ride or a hike or going on a trip or something with the kids there was always a teaching moment she just Came out naturally, you know, she just always wanted them to Know God know the world that he created for us, know what we're supposed to be doing in this world that he created for us, know our responsibility. She was fiercely patriotic, constitutional, like she was constantly teaching the kids about our God-given rights and why this country was built and founded on that, that we are created in the image of God and that with that comes the rights that he gives us and only he can give us. I mean, she preached like, phew. That's good, man. Yeah, I love that. You know, I don't know if a lot of people know this, but Michael and I never met. And you guys were supposed to be on our podcast. I know my wife and my podcast and we scheduled it and then you had your back surgery and things just kind of got really busy for you and you were in a lot of pain. And it's interesting, you know, as I learn more about her, I feel like I knew her, you know what I mean? But it's great because I'm in the exact same boat as someone listening who doesn't know Michael. And so I'm learning about your whole story because I only know your side, right? I'm learning about your whole story and I'm learning so much about her. And yeah, man, I really, really appreciate you opening up about Michael and who she was. Yeah. It was good. I think the greatest lesson you asked me to share things that she would want people to know about her. One of the greatest lessons she taught me was cracking the code. Everybody has a code. You as a husband, you've got a code. I have a code. Your wife has a code. Your kids have a code. And I think because she worked so hard and she dove so deep into relationships, she made it easier for people, for me, for whoever, to almost crack the code on a relationship with an individual person. I remember the day I realized cracking her code was time. She needed time. She wanted quality time. I learned that on our second coffee date. So here, you know, I've gone on this first coffee date, awkward, a little weird, you know, I've done Enneagram tests, I've done a little love language test. She started vetting me, asking me all these hard questions and then a couple of weeks go by and she's in Columbus and she says, hey, I'm gonna be in town, you got time for coffee? I'm like, well, yeah. You got the colors. Exactly, so I drove up to Columbus and meet her and of course she's all dressed up. She looked cute and We go in and I order a sandwich and I get something to drink and I don't remember what she got And I don't remember drinking it and I don't remember eating my sandwich and I look up I Look up in there. They're sweeping the floors. They're cleaning the place up and I said, hey, are you guys getting ready closing? I says yeah, but you're fine. You guys hang out as long as you want. So what time is it? We've been there for five hours straight, just fully engaged, connecting, talking, and to the point where I had no idea what time it was. I didn't realize an hour had gone by, let alone five hours. And so when I say, you know, she was so engaging and so connective, like I got to experience it early on. And then, you know, we were like, oh, okay, so we should probably get out of here and I walk her out to the van and and you know I turned to walk away because remember we're still in the friend zone and she goes hey aren't you gonna hug me what she was like oh yeah well yeah sure I hug you yeah and so I permission yeah I get a hug and we get in the car and we're driving home and And we talked for three more hours, eight hours straight. I mean, Chris, I've never done anything like that. Yeah. Have you ever talked to anybody for eight hours? I don't think so. I mean, me and you push it, but- No, we do it a lot. Eight hours of talking to this person, but just to, I guess I'm just trying to share how connective she was and how engaging and how easy it was to dive into life and talk with her. And so, you know, she has taught me to engage. I think I was okay at it. I think I have a lot of surface friends who I could talk to casually about just about anything. But, man, since Michael, man, she's taught me how to care for somebody, how to dig deeper, how to ask harder questions. You know, you ask me a lot of hard questions. We've talked about a lot of hard stuff, but take it outside this realm and find somebody in need and be like, how can I really find out what's going on in their lives and what they need? And you know, those are lessons that she taught me, but it came early on when she literally taught me how to crack the code of connecting and going deep. Yeah, good stuff. I love it. and going deep. Yeah, good stuff. I love it. and going deep. Yeah, good stuff. I love it. Yeah.

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